Wonder Women

Wonder Women

Adult nonfiction
"It wasn't supposed to be so hard. Like many women of my so-
called postfeminist generation, I was raised to believe that women
were finally poised to be equal with men. That women, after centuries
of oppression, exploitation, and other unnamed bad things, could now
behave more or less like men. We could have sex whenever we wanted,
children whenever we chose, and career options that stretched to
infinity. The first woman astronaut? Of course. The first woman
president? Why not? This had been the era, after all, when Barbie
ditched the closeted Ken for careers in medicine and firefighting...
But somewhere, somehow, the reality shifted, and instead of lacy
strings I was struggling with a nursing bra that defied all notions of
femininity and a blouse that refused to close fully over it. I had a
five-week-old baby at home, a three-year-old who hadn't realized quite
what had befallen him, and a plane to catch to Michigan. What
happened to Barbie's breast pump? And why wasn't it working for me?"
In the prologue of her Wonder Women: Sex, Power, & The Quest
For Perfection, Debora L. Spar describes an epiphany she had in 1992.
Sleep deprived, on a layover between planes, pumping breast milk in a
public bathroom stall, she realized that she had it all. Only the
balancing act she lived was a lot more difficult than she'd ever
imagined. Luckily for us, she went on to distill years of experience
and research into Wonder Women.
Growing Up, Spar never considered herself a feminist. In her
mind, they were shrill, man-hating, hairy legged, and perpetually
angry--all of which she wasn't. Instead she was enchanted by the main
character of a Charlie perfume ad: "...She had long, bouncy hair, a
form fitting blue suit, and a pair of stiletto heels. From one hand
dangled a briefcase; from the other, a small, equally beautiful child,
who gazed adoringly at her mom as they skipped along..."
She could have it all just as the Charlie ad implied.
Somewhere along the way having it all became having too much for
Spar and a lot of women. Her analysis of why (hint: it involves the
quest for perfection in all facets of life) and what we can do to
achieve a more sane, human life style make Wonder Women a must read
for feminists and allies.
On a personal note, I never did aspire to have it all at the same
time. I stayed home with my children. I worked out of the home,
first running a typing service and then doing free lance writing. It
was a challenge finding a way to get back on track when they left
home. But I start grad school in September. I got my first semester
bill a couple of days ago. It's due August 15. It won't be easy to
pay on time. But if I work all the shifts I can get and am lucky
finding bottles and cans to cash in I can do it. One of my favorite
sayings right now is "The hustle is real." I'd say "The hustle is real
and worth it."
Joey did fine with his summer shave. He is a lot more comfortable
without all the fur. When I picked him up I was told he was flirting
with all the women working at Veazie Vet. He is some cute with his
little lion trim.
I'm looking forward to seeing my piece in the paper today. :-).
jules hathaway


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