Shrill

Shrill

Adult memoir
"Over time, the knowledge that I was too big made my life
smaller and smaller. I insisted that shoes and accessories were 'my
thing,' because my friends didn't realize that I couldn't shop for
clothes at a regular store and I was too mortified to explain it to
them. I backed out of dinner plans if I remembered the restaurant had
particularly narrow aisles or rickety chairs. I ordered salad even if
everyone else was having fish and chips. I pretended to hate skiing
because my giant men's ski pants made me look like a smokestack and I
was terrified my bulk would tip me off the chairlift..."
If you are or ever have been really overweight you'll want to
read Lindy West's Shrill. If you have am overweight loved one you can
learn a lot from the book. I know I did. West candidly tells us what
it's like to come of age as a fat (she prefers the word to euphemisms)
woman in a world that equates petiteness with femininity. She manages
to do this with disarming humor.
West learned early in life that her size made her unacceptable.
She became small in the only way she could, becoming shy and quiet.
Heading into her teens, she despaired, sure that she was missing her
years to shine, bogged down by unwieldy flesh.
Then in West's adulthood something amazing happened. She
discovered Leonard Nimoy's Full Body Project.
"...The photographs are in black and white, and they feature a
group of fat naked women laughing, smiling, embracing, gazing
fearlessly into the camera. In one they sway indolently like the
Three Graces; in another they re-create Herb Ritts' iconic pile of
supermodels. It was the first time I've ever seen fat women presented
without scorn."
West was fascinated. These women were bold and beautiful. The
photographer had told them to be proud. Maybe she too could be
proud. Maybe she could stop accepting the verdict of ignorant people
and value herself.
"...I wasn't unnatural after all; the cultural attitude that
taught me so was the real abomination. My body, I realized, was an
opportunity. It was political. It moved the world just be existing.
What a gift!"
And that was only the beginning. Read the book to see how she
morphed from shy child into comedian, actress, and Internet troll
battler.
My sibling, like West, started out fat pretty early. I remember
kids teasing her (he was her back then) mercilessly and adults
relentlessly trying to make her someone she couldn't be.
Now I have a manager I think the world of. She's someone who
takes in rescue dogs, raises veggies, and is fascinated by other
cultures. She is also gorgeous. Renaissance artists would have given
anything to have her as a model. When she tells me people have
bullied her it makes me so angry.
Please don't body shame people. And if you see someone else be
a bully please don't be a silent bystander. Step up and make a
difference.
On a personal note, UMaine has a blood drive coming up this month and
I'm signed up to donate. I love donating. But the weeks leading up
to the drive really stress me. I used to be able to take iron pills
to make sure I'd have enough iron. But now it messes up my stomach.
So I have to get all my iron in food. I feel guilty if I can't give,
so everything I eat or fail to eat becomes a moral issue. I eat so
much of iron loading stuff (like multi grain Cheerios and burgers) I
get to hate it. Then I feel guilty if I eat anything less iron
containing that I might actually enjoy like fish. It's like if I
don't get this right someone might die and it would be my fault.
(Maybe that's why I refuse to give something up for Lent. Five times
a year of focussing on what I eat is all I can handle.) This month I
feel especially pressured. In November my iron was too low. In
January it was fine. But I bled too slow. I suspect the needle was
put in wrong because I had a bruise the size of a nectarine.
Hopefully third time will be a charm. I really want to finish my
tenth gallon.
A great big shout out goes out to the Red Cross nurses who will be
coming to a campus near me soon.
jules hathaway



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