Living With The Enemy

Living With The Enemy

Adult photojournalism
"...he picked up the baby, and he said, with a mad look in his
eyes, 'You better shut this goddamn kid up, or else I am going to kill
it.' I said, 'Just put him down.' But he kept hanging onto him
violently. I thought, 'Oh, God, he's going to break his little body.'
And I told him, 'Bob, put him down!' I said, 'You son of a bitch!
That's all you're good for is beating up women and kids.'
Minutes later Joanne grabbed Bob's shotgun, closed her eyes, and
one blast put an end to her husband, her marriage, and a decade of
abuse."
Photojournalist Donna Ferrato grew up in a home marked by
domestic violence. It didn't make her radar for much of her adult
life. Then on assignment she saw a man hit his wife. This experience
wreaked havoc with her lifelong belief that "Home is a refuge from the
chaos of life." It made her determined to document domestic violence.
"Much of this book [Living With The Enemy] was born out of
frustration--first because I felt powerless in the face of the
violence I had seen, and second, because for a long time no magazine
would publish the pictures..."
Society has too often looked at wife battering in a different
way than it perceives other forms of violence. Men have gotten away
with doing terrible things to the women they allegedly love. If
they'd done the same thing to strangers they'd have been put away for
decades. There's the whole patriarchy thing about a man's home bring
his castle. Ferrato wanted to show that brutal crime is brutal crime,
no matter where or against whom it is committed.
She does so in spades. The photos and stories behind them will
enrage you and break your heart. There are mauled and mangled women.
There are two little boys--one who takes his toy weapons to bed and
reassures his mom that if dad comes he'll stop him and one who screams
at his dad (who is being arrested) to never come back. There's a
hypervigilent little girl who saw her father burn and stab her mother.
The last part of the book should really enrage you. It starts
with the story of Becca who shot her husband with his revolver.
Escalating abuse had caused her to decide to take their children and
leave Don. He'd started strangling her. He'd told her when she was
dead he'd kill their seven children. Struggling to survive, she'd
found the gun he kept in the car. She'd fired through the floor (a
warning) before she shot him.
She was sentenced to fifty years with no possibility of parole.
She isn't the only one serving anywhere up to life for protecting self
and children.
Progress has been made since the book was published, but not
nearly enough. The day after I wrote this review I read an article
about victims of intimate violence being at risk for serious brain
damage. They may not receive treatment for brain injuries. Being hit
repeatedly can lead to cumulative traumatic brain injuries. Brain
injuries can impair women's abilities to perceive they are in or
escape from abusive situations.
On a personal note, well, I have good news to share. Once again I
have been invited to do an Atrsapalooza gig. Artsapalooza is a very
special late June night in downtown Orono. All the venues from the
library through the shops and restaurants to the churches and the
space in front of the fire station are sites for music, dance, and
readings. It's a celebration of community and creativity and a mighty
fine place to perform. I will be sharing 40 minutes of my original
poetry.
A great big shout out goes out to Connie Carter and her team who are
in charge of handling the planning, logistics, and trouble shooting
that make the event not only beautiful, but possible.
jules hathaway




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