For Lesbian parents

For Lesbian parents

Parenting
I distinctly remember the birth of my first child. It was
rather dramatic. Labor started in the wee hours of the morning. What
I thought was my water breaking was blood. The bathroom looked like a
set from a Stephen King horror flick. The obstitrician told me to get
to the hospital right away. My partner and I drove there and waited
and waited. When I'd been in labor 16 hours a nurse took a look,
called the doctor who had left the room, and told him to get the Hell
back; the baby wasn't going anywhere. This was not exactly reassuring
to the mother-to-be in labor. I had myself a middle of the night
emergency c section.
Now I'd read every new mother book I could get my hands on. So
you'd think I'd have felt somewhat confident when I finally met Amber
the next day. Wrong. My exhausted, hormone saturated emotions went
on a roller coaster ride. I was head over heels in love. Never
before had such a beautiful, enchanting, perfect infant arrived in the
world. And I was terrified. I was going to somehow destroy this
amazing little being. It took the nurses about 20 minutes to persuade
me to hold her while lying safely in bed.
So I totally agree with Suzanne Johnson and Elizabeth O'Connor
(both Ph.D.s) when they write in the introduction to their For Lesbian
Parents:
"...the fact is, no training, education, or fantasizing can
truly prepare you for parenthood. It is something that you make
happen and happens to you at the same time. It is overwhelming,
exhausting, terrifying, thrilling, and joyous all at once. It
requires more stamina than a marathon. It demands more energy and
attention than you knew you had."
Johnson and O'Connor had to hurdle an obstacle that Eugene and I
never had to give a moment's thought to. Society has made things
awfully hard for families headed by lesbians. We have a lot of bias
going on. Even some people who respect lesbian couples believe
vehemently that they should not raise children. And there are a lot
of legalities.
In addition to their own experiences, the authors have included
the narratives of a number of other lesbian parents. For Lesbian
Parents is a candid, comprehensive volume that I believe will be a
useful reference book for its target audience.
On a purrrsonal note, Penobscot County, Maine is in the midst of a
torrential downpour with gale force winds. There are warnings of
power outages. From what I can hear it's wild out there. Outside my
studio window it's as black as the inside of a coal mine. I suspect
that getting to UMaine to work my lunch shift is going to be an
adventure.
A great big shout out goes out to all the folks who will do their work
outside in this mess like garbage truck and bus drivers and the first
responders who hopefully won't encounter too many storm (and lack of
bad weather caution) related accidents.
jules hathaway



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