It finally came--the watch Eugene ordered me on EBay. I was anxiously awaiting it. On one hand it couldn't be more me. I mean cats galore. On the other hand, because of my ridiculously small bones it wasn't will it be too big, but how much too big. And it didn't have a leather strap I could make another hole in. Luckily it's loose, but not falling off. So I can wear it. And I bet I can find a jeweler who can remove a few links. So I am very happy with it.

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Liars, Inc. (YA chiller)

     In our teen years a lot of us provide cover stories for friends intent on getting away with something. It's usually no big deal. So when his friend, Preston, asks Max, narrator of Paula Stokes' Liars, Inc., to make it look like he's on a camping trip to meet up with a girl he's met on line, he has no clue that this decision is going to turn life as he knows into hell on earth. 

     Actually the boys and their friend Parvati are quite comfortable with falsehood. They've created a lucrative little business at school, Liars Inc. They'll call kids in sick, forge parental signatures on all kinds of documents, ensure good test scores, and provide other services for the right amount of money. 

     Preston has assured Max that he will be back in time for school. When he isn't home Sunday Max thinks nothing of it. Monday he gets a call from Preston's frantic mother who says Preston never came home. And in no time at all he's in an interrogation room being questioned by FBI agents. 

     "Apparently when the kid of a senator goes missing they bring in the top dogs."

     When Max sticks with the alibi, fearful that the truth about Liars, Inc will surface the agents come up with a lot of inconvenient questions. 

     "Too much had happened too quickly. I was still waiting for Preston to roll up in his car and tell me a big funny story about his adventures in Vegas. I hadn't completely wrapped my brain around the possibility that something bad had happened to him, let alone the possibility that someone else had hurt him and was setting me up to take the fall."

     It certainly looks that way. Pretty soon Max is desperately fleeing the FBI, racking up felony charges that come to include arson and murder, and finding out that he and his friends are not the only liars in town. 

On a personal note, I finally got a ride to the redemption center to cash in the bags of cans and bottles that had been taking up so much space in my trailer and shed. $56 worth. Now I could finally reach the summer clothes stashed in my shed. I spent much of yesterday pulling my summer clothes out, washing them and hanging them out to dry, and storing my winter clothes. Not exciting but definitely progress. It looks like Maine is in for yet another rainy weekend. I have no plans. 

A great big shout out goes out to you. I hope that you have a fun and safe weekend. 

Jules Hathaway 

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Well, fam, this is the first plant to go into my little 💐 garden. My friend Diane took me to a flower nursery and we picked it out. It won't be lonely too long. Diane has promised me some Johnny jump ups. And she's given me sweet alyssum seeds.

Before last year the garden was Eugene's. Despite all my community garden volunteering I was convinced that with 💐 I would be totally inept. The last summer I chose some of the flowers and discovered I wasn't. This summer I'm psyched to create a beautiful space to read near.

Today is a really special day. It's my Amber's birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 🎈 🎁 🎊. Let's all wish her a wonderful birthday and a most successful book launch--only a month away.

A great big shout out goes out to Amber and Diane.

Jules Hathaway 

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Dare I Say It

     When my mother went through the menopause from Hell people didn't say the word. She was going through The Change and doing her best to keep it a secret probably even from her doctor. When I went through my asymptomatic menopause this perfectly normal transition was still a taboo topic...

     ...Actually it's still too often a taboo topic with most doctors not knowing enough about it's complexities, society propagating a myth of rapid decline in everything from sexuality to cognition, and women in the passage stigmatized and shamed.

     It's a damn good thing that we're finally getting books on the subject from women who have been there, done that. I've just discovered one that I'd recommend to my daughters: Naomi Watts' Dare I Say It: Everything I Wish I'd Known About Menopause. It covers the complexities--physical, mental, and emotional--of the transition. It's a wonderful blend of anecdotal experience and clinical research. The experiences described in the book are highly relatable. 

     Most of us enter menopause knowing only a few key symptoms. I would have flunked a pop quiz. I expected hot flashes, night sweats, wild mood swings, and, of course, cessation of menses. Watts shows us how a wide range of symptoms--physical, cognitive, and emotional--are indeed menopause related and can be ameliorated. This is major. 

     One of the most important messages Watts delivers is to be assertive in your health care. Women tend to be taught to be submissive in medical care situations. All too many doctors, especially he/him ones are not good listeners. And if he won't listen find someone else. You deserve better. I'm going to ditch my PCP the second I get in with another practice.

     Seriously when doctors don't listen the consequences can be really bad or fatal. When I broke my wrist the first doctor I saw refused to x ray claiming that if I had a fracture I'd be in more pain. I got a second opinion. When I was in the hospital after I had my first baby I told the rounds doctor I had an infection. He told me it was my imagination. Prepare to be indignant. If I hadn't rung for a nurse speedy quick I would have died from a hospital acquired infection. So BE ASSERTIVE!!!

     I also love how Watts reframes life after menopause. It's too often described as a time of decline, irrelevance, boredom, and ugly as fuck "age appropriate" clothes. She sees it as a time of exploration, discovery, and fulfillment. 

     I have two wonderful adult daughters. I'm keeping up with the lit on menopause because I want this transition to as positive as possible for them just like the previous ones in their lives. I want to help them in any way I can. And Dare I Say It gives me plenty of ideas.

On a purrrsonal note, because my mother's menopause was so dramatic I was sure I'd know when it happened. Wrong! One day I realized I hadn't menstruated in quite awhile--over a year to be exact. It was like well I guess I hit that milestone. And for me the years following have been ones of exploration,  discovery, fulfillment, and abundant joy. I discovered my passion and how to make a career out of it. I just acquired the degree I need for that. I have exciting new interests, a loving family, and wonderful friends. And the undergrads are always asking me where I get my clothes. LIFE IS AWESOME!!!

A great big shout out goes out to Watts and the others who are finally serving up the deets on a still too taboo topic. 

Jules Hathaway 

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This is my graduation card from Amber. It's pages and pages of pictures and messages from important people in my life. Truly a labor of love! You can't get something like this from a store.

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No One Else Can Have You (YA fiction)

     The little Wisconsin town of Friendship, the setting of Kathleen Hale's No One Else Can Have You, prides itself on its civility. People walk around smiling, greeting each other, acting like everything is wonderful, even if when it isn't. No one brings up topics that would make others uncomfortable. 

     But nasty currents run under all this superficial veneer of niceness. Sometimes they come to the surface.

     A police officer answers a call from the owners of a corn field, sure that it's just another case of vandalism like the ones he's dealt with in the past. The wife is in hysterics She leads him to a tree from which swings the grotesquely mutilated body of Ruth, a teenage girl. 

     Sheriff Staake is sure it's an open and shut case. The culprit is obviously Ruth's boyfriend, Colt. He has a long history of vandalism and worse. Because he was a football star the police had to clean up after him each time rather than prosecuting him.

     Kippy, Hale's narrator, was Ruth's best friend. In fact when Ruth was abducted she was on her way to Kippy's house for a birthday sleepover. Kippy considers Colt to be BAD NEWS. She knows that he beat Ruth and probably cheated on her. But she knows that her hometown's cops are much better at finding lost pets than dealing with homicide. She thinks that they're closing the case much too soon.

     "But what do I do? Because honestly I don't even know what I'm after or up against here. I mean, the cops won't listen and everyone else has their heads inside their butts trying to be polite. Not to mention, Friendship is actually way less boring but maybe also much more weird and creepy than I thought it was, and nobody really prepared me for that."

     Prepared or not, Kippy is determined to solve the mystery...

     ...if it doesn't prove to be the death of her.

On a purrrsonal note, Eugene and I spent our 3 day weekend at camp, mostly indoors with the wood stove going. It was cold and rainy 🌧 until the 🌞 came out just when it was time to go home. But we did have fun. We watched 2 funny movies. And I read 3 books. 

A great big shout goes out to Eugene. 

Jules Hathaway 

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I'm Sorry For My Loss

     People who know me know that I have three amazing adult children. What they may not  know is that I also lost three pregnancies. The third involved an abortion when the miscarriage wouldn't end and my life was in jeopardy. (The fetus had no heartbeat). What I became all too familiar with was the discomfort people have in relationship to pregnancy loss, rendering it a taboo topic rather than a chance to offer support. It can be a very isolating experience. 

     That's one of the reasons I'm grateful for Rebecca Little and Colleen Long's I'm Sorry for My Loss: An UrgentExamination of Reproductive care in America. Both authors experienced pregnancy loss and and the taboos surrounding it.

     "Colleen was shocked by how infrequently people would talk about what happened; some of her family never even mentioned it once. She felt like she couldn't talk about it either. After her stillborn son, a priest told Rebecca that he didn't need to pray for the baby because he was already in heaven, so she shouldn't feel sad. This was far from a comfort; it was engaging and invalidating."

     Little and Long take readers through the history of miscarriage, stillbirth, and abortion in America from the birth of the nation when women became great with child about every two years and lost many of these pregnancies through the early 20th century when Margaret  Sanger advocated for both birth control and eugenics, the '50s when women's reason d'etre was thought to be bearing and raising children, and the legalization of abortion to the present day when Roe v Wade has been overturned. They show the many factors, such as state of medicine and science, religion, and politics, that were highly influential. They remind us that access to reproductive care is highly influenced by race and class.

     They have grave concerns in today's America where a number of states have outlawed or severely restricted abortion and the right is pushing for more of same. It isn't just women seeking abortions and doctors willing to provide them who are in danger. A lot of doctors are afraid to treat women desperately in need of help because of pregnancy complications. And how about the prospect of miscarrying women being jailed for homicide. 

     I'm Sorry for My Loss is a clarion call for action. It's a must read for medical care professionals, policy makers, and people who can get pregnant and the people who care about them. 

On a purrrsonal note, if today's legislation had been in practice in my reproductive years I'd be in prison or dead. It's another reason (besides my belief that you shouldn't have a child unless you really want one) that I don't nag for grands. It's become a relief that at a time when any kind of pregnancy termination can have truly tragic consequences that my kids don't want to have kids.

A great big shout out goes out to Little and Long for this comprehensive and highly relevant book.

Fam, I wish you a safe and happy three day weekend. I probably will be going to camp and if so taking a break from technology to better appreciate nature. 

Jules Hathaway 

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