Louder Than Words

"I don't have
Enough energy
to tell her to
GO AWAY!
to leave me alone.
I wish everyone
Would leave me alone—
forever."
Jake, protagonist of John Schu's Louder Than Words, is in a bad place. He's not getting along with his parents. His beloved grandmother with whom he spends weekends, the only times he's actually happy, suddenly is tiring. Since seventh grade school has been made torture by bullying peers.
But there's a voice in his head that helps him feel in control. It tells him it's his only friend. But with "friends" like that he doesn't need enemies. It constantly says things likeYOU—ARE—REPULSIVE! (It's voice is always all capitals.). It commands him to exercise and diet way too much…
…Until he ends up in Whispering Pines where he's diagnosed with anorexia and begins a slow, difficult, confusing, frightening road to recovery.
If Jake's story feels really authentic it's because it's based on Schu's own life experiences.
"I spent more than two years in and out of multiple inpatient and outpatient treatment programs and facilities for anorexia nervosa, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety, and depression. I struggled day after day. I felt unworthy of taking up space. I hated myself for many years. I was stuck.
On a very personal note, I found it a struggle to stay with the book to the very end even though its extremely well written. Maybe because it's so well written. Ever since the stroke it's been a struggle to stay over 100 pounds. I'm really afraid of losing too much. I'm trying to learn how to maintain a healthy weight on nutritious foods. But in the meantime I sweets binge when I get too low. Little Debbie is my new secret BFF. I didn't ditch it after the first few chapters because it is so important for the many younger people who have eating disorders.
A great big shout out goes out to all ho struggle with weight.
Jules Hathaway