I Am Not Alone

"One of the things that happens when we meet someone who is manifesting symptoms of mental illness is that we lose sight of the person behind the symptoms. The person hearing voices becomes a potential menace to avoid or a set of unpleasant behaviors that need to be modified. The result is that, not seeing themselves valued in the others, the mentally ill can lose their sense of self-worth and, indeed, their very self."
The above quote comes from the author's note in Francisco X. Stork's I Am Not Alone. Stork himself experienced auditory hallucinations during manic episodes of bipolar disorder. Fortunately his family and friends gave him the support he needed to see himself as a "good, ordinary, unique person". Many people facing similar struggles are not as fortunate. In I Am Not Alone he creates a protagonist who is experiencing the insight of schizophrenia in a much less supportive environment.
For Alberto, that protagonist, family is everything. At only seventeen he is an immigrant in the United States with responsibilities on both sides of the border. He sends a large part of his earnings to his family members in Mexico, desperately hoping that it will enable his little sisters to stay in school and have good life opportunities. He helps his sister in America with her baby and struggles to find a way to get her away from her abusive, addiction enabling boyfriend. He has begun a frightening voice that tells him to do bad things. He is afraid that he won't be able to fight it off forever.
Grace, Stork's other protagonist, is a white honors student who has been accepted by her prestigious first choice college. Boyfriend Michael is the preppy privileged son of a lawyer who is very controlling in their relationship and has simplistic answers for all her concerns. She's devastated by her father abruptly divorcing her mother, wondering if Michael is just as self centered, and questioning everything in her life. She feels like she's acting in a play where someone else wrote the lines and directions.
The two meet when he cleans her windows. Sensing Grace's unhappiness, Alberto invites her to a studio where he creates poetry. She begins to feel a definite attraction. Which is definitely a good thing…
…because when a medically frail woman is killed at a home he and two coworkers are painting Alberto is accused of murdering her. Although he has no memories of doing so Alberto is not convinced of his innocence. Maybe he gave in to the voice.
"In writing about a young man struggling with the onset of schizophrenia, I wanted to show his inner struggle to remain whole and, at the same time, portray someone who is much more than his symptoms. I wanted to write a story about how mental illness erodes the sense of our own worth and how we recover when someone has faith in us. My hope is that Grace's growing appreciation of Alberto and her willingness to help him will encourage us all to see the person behind the mental illness and to respond to the call for our involvement when it comes."
On a purrrsonal note today was a bittersweet day for me. It was the fifth anniversary of the day I lost precious Joey, my beloved cat companion of sixteen years. Although he was medically frail, he enjoyed life and home and his family more robustly than just about any other creature I've met. He was a snuggly lap cat, a playful companion, an ultra loyal friend. I cherish all the precious memories of our time together. But days like today I feel like my heart is being torn open.
A great big shout out goes out to precious Joey who I hope is in heaven or reincarnated into a healthy cat body and well provided for and cherished.
Jules Hathaway