Sex Object

Sex Object

Adult nonfiction
"Because while my daughter lives in a world that knows that what
happens to women is wrong, it has also accepted this wrongness as
inevitable. When a rich man in Delaware was given probation for
raping his three-year-old daughter, there was outrage. But it was the
lack of punishment that seemed to offend, not the seemingly immovable
fact that some men rape three-year-olds. Prison time we can measure
and control; that some men do horrible things to little girls,
however, is presented as a given."
The first male that I remember making unwanted sexual advances
on me beyond the bra snapping, random groping, and name calling of my
booger brained boy peers was a physical education teacher. I was a
freshman in high school. My junior year a senior who had stayed back
a couple of years tried to go all the way with me on a Greyhound bus
and behind the girls' dorm. I lost my virginity by rape. I wish I
could say that was the last time someone tried...it was the last time
someone succeeded. There were times I wondered fleetingly if I was a
pervert magnet.
After reading Jessica Valenti's Sex Object I know the answer is
a resounding no. I was a girl; I am a woman. I live in a rape
culture where a college athlete can get only three months in prison
for raping an unconscious woman because a judge thinks serious time
might endanger his bright future and his father can brush it off as
twenty minutes of action.
"Being a sex object is not special. This particular experience
of sexism--the way women are treated like objects, the way we
sometimes make ourselves into objects, and how the daily sloughing
away of our humanity impacts not just our lives and experiences but
our very sense of self--is not an unusual one. The object status is
what ties me to so many others..."
Valenti's mother and grandmother were molested by men who were
not strangers. Her grandmother was raped by her uncle. Riding the
subway she encountered legions of exhibitionists, gropers, and dry
humpers. Her high school teacher tried to "date" her...
From unwanted touching to cyberbullying Valenti describes the
experiences all too many girls and women have had to endure. Sex
Object is disturbingly enlightening. I think it's a must read for
adults...
...especially mothers of daughters.
On a personal note, Maine Day was awesome. I was with the crew raking
and planting at my beloved Wilson Center. All over campus and into
town students eradicated the last traces of winter and did other much
needed maintenance. We all met up in the steam plant parking lot for
barbeque and music. Mmm mmm good! Maine Day is a wonderful
tradition. It gets work done. It's a break from the books. And it
builds UMaine loyalty and sense of belonging.
I've been giving out the white carnations leftover from the Out Of The
Darkness walk around campus to people experiencing stress and sadness
and people in behind the scenes jobs. It makes them happy. And Mind
Spa peeps encourage me to keep it up. I'm enjoying my own bunch of
carnations at home. They are delicately tinged with pink thanks to
red food coloring in water.
My beautiful dafodills (which I just learned repel ticks) are in
flower. Now it's time to bring out my wind chimes and turn Katie's
tree into the Veazie Symphony Orchastra.
jules hathaway


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