The Whole-Brain Child

The Whole-Brain Child

Parenting
If you have more than one child I can practically guarantee you've
been here. You're going about your day when you approached by an
outraged son or daughter who accuses you of loving [sibling's name]
more and giving her/him preferential treatment. Of course you don't.
But your carefully thought out response seems to, if anything, add
fuel to the fire.
Wouldn't you love to find a way of understanding those parenting
impasses that seem to make no sense whatsoever?
We've been through those hectic weeks leading up to Christmas
when social obligations, food preparIng, gift shopping and hiding, and
getting kids ready for concerts, plays, and class parties can make
hectic family schedules feel even more frenzied and kids act up more
than usual (despite admonitions that Santa's watching).
Would you like to feel that even when life seems to consist of
same old same old interspersed with disciplinary crises, rather than
the idealized quality time, you can be helping your children become
happy, productive people capable of making good decisions and
sustaining meaningful relationships?
Those of you who answered yes to at least one of the questions
will be thrilled by my discovery of The Whole-Brain Child: 12
Revolutionary Strategies To Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by
Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. It's the total parenting
cat's pajamas. Basically it takes really exciting discoveries on
brain organization and development and serves them up in a way parents
can use in real world day to day life. How's that for a concept?
Let's take the sibling preference meltdown that does not respond
to logic. You and your child are coming from very different places.
Our left brains handle more logical, linear stuff in our life while
our right brains specialize in memories, images, and emotions. When
kids or any of us are at our best both sides work together. But there
are times one side dominates strongly enough to shut the other side
down. Think temper tantrum. Chapter two covers that very nicely.
Or how about the despair of feeling that in the rat race of day
to day life you aren't doing long term development. The authors know
about that. "In our nobler, calmer, saner moments, we care about
nurturing our kids' minds, increasing their sense of wonder, and
helping them reach their potential in all aspects of life. But in the
more frantic, stressful, bribe-the-toddler-into-the-car-seat-so-we-can-
rush-to-the-soccer-game moments, sometimes all we can hope for is to
avoid yelling or hearing someone say, 'You're so mean!'" The wonderful
and empowering message of the book is that the mundane, overwhelming,
and frustrating moments in life can, when handled mindfully, become
times of engagement, discovery, security and character building. It
gives plenty of ways to make that happen.
YOWZA! I sure wish this book had been around when my kids were
shorter than me. Each chapter covers a specific topic such as
integrating right and left hemispheres. You get a good balance of
theoretical background and practical suggestion. At the very end of
each chapter there is a section on understanding and nurturing
ourselves so we can parent better.
In non expensive paperback, The Whole-Brain Child is an
excellent investment for parents, other relatives, teachers, admin,
guidance folks, pediatricians, clergy, and just about anyone who works
with and cares about children.
On a personal note, I'm great at using my higher mental powers to
inhibit my lower brain from making me do dangerous or unwise stuff.
That's probably a good trait for a school committee vice chair. But
when something really upsets me my left logic brain is MIA. Last fall
I learned on my birthday by form letter that I did not get the library
job I spent weeks preparing for the interview for. I felt myself
drowning in despair, unable to think logically enough to see viable
alternatives for quite awhile.
A great big shout out goes out to all our kids (of all ages) who
believe in the spirit of Christmas and eagerly await Ssnta's arrival.
Julia Emily Hathaway



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