R. L. Toalson's My Brother Oliver literally took my breath away. These days there are quite fortunately more books featuring narrators with disabilities and challenges including mental health ones. But still there are precious few narrated by the "normal" siblings of these kids, often simultaneously invisible in their own homes and expected to never cause trouble or need help. Reading it felt like going to a concert and hearing a band playing your life in a song.
"Mom dropped me off
like she always does.
But one thing was different:
Oliver wasn't
sitting in the
front seat.
My eyes drift toward the spot
where he and his friends gather
every morning before school.
Do they feel the
Sickening emptiness
of his absence too?
Being the younger brother isn't easy for Brooks, Toalson's narrator, who basically lives in Oliver's shadow. Oliver is gifted in areas like science and math. But when it comes to interactions and relationships he struggles. His peers, perceiving his area of vulnerability, are very cruel. He frequently explodes. Nobody can predict when something will set him off. Brooks feels that living at home is like constantly walking on eggshells.
But now the house is quiet. Oliver has been hospitalized. Oliver had written a note expressing a list of reasons he should die.
"1. No one loves me.
2. No one even likes me.
3. I'm stupid.
4. I scare people.
5. I hurt people.
6. I make Mom and Dad cry.
The list went on,
all the way to twelve."
And there's a very disturbing picture.
Brooks had shown the note to the principal who had called the boys' parents who had taken Oliver to the hospital for observation. They're treating Brooks like a hero--saying he saved Oliver's life.
But Brooks isn't sure. Maybe he was tired of walking on eggshells and wanted a little peace and quiet. Maybe he wanted a chance to shine without being constantly overshadowed...
...Maybe something he said was the reason Oliver wrote the note.
Brooks expresses his evolving thoughts candidly, vulnerably, and highly relatably. In prose that is both near lyrical and down-to-earth he takes readers on a journey of discovery.
It will be especially valued by children who are the "normal" ones in their families.
On a purrrsonal note, my younger sister, Harriet, almost died from spinal meningitis when I was eleven. I became completely overshadowed and simultaneously expected to adult overnight. When I was fourteen, just before starting high school I lost everything--my friends, my community, my beloved pets--when we moved for Harriet. I was given a lot of responsibility for her. In fact I had to do my last year of high school remotely by correspondence school--no peers, clubs, activities, real graduation--to fulfill my responsibilities. And my mother had told me that when she died I would be Harriet's guardian. I had to set boundaries to create a life that wasn't Harriet centered--a chance to have the full college experience, be courted, marry, raise a family, and go on to grad school. To live my best free spirit, creative, extrovert life.
A great big shout out goes out to Toalson for her eye opening narrative.
Jules Hathaway
Sent from my Galaxy
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