Etched in Sand

Etched in Sand

Adult memoir
"Her offenses? Where to start? She's wanted for drunk driving;
driving with a suspended license and an unregistered vehicle; stolen
license plates, bounced checks to the landlord, utility company, and
liquor store totaling hundreds of dollars; stealing from her bosses
(on the rare occasion she gets work as a barmaid); and for our
truancy. And if there were such a thing as a warrant for sending her
kids to school with their heads full of lice, we could add that to the
list too!"
In Etched in Sand Regina Calcaterra (quoted above) paints a
picture of a childhood so horrific it could have come from Stephen
King's imagination. She was the middle of five children of a mother
who could have put the dys in dysfunctional. In the paragraph above
the family is once again en route to yet another new place which may
or not be fit for human habitation. The kids have learned to not draw
her attention to themselves. Doing so often results in a nasty
beating. Actually, even though they are often hungry and cold, they
are happiest when she is off God only knows where for days or weeks
with some random guy.
If you're thinking that someone should be calling in children's
protective services, it does happen from time to time. The social
workers and their minions are spectacularly incompetent. And, when
placed in foster homes, the children are always separated. They know
any chance they have of surviving and maybe someday thriving lie in
staying together. So no matter how horrific home life is, they lie to
keep from being taken away.
What's truly amazing is that in the end the grown children have
made sure the abuse stopped with them. Married, parenting, and
working, they have achieved strength and stability. If you want to
know how that happened, you'll just have to read the book.
On a personal note, here are three small events from my home where I'm
sheltering in place.
1) Last night when Lisa delivered the food box from the Black Bear
Exchange she included a surprise for Earth Day: a lovely little plant
with jewel green leaves and a bud about to burst into bloom. It looks
like hope. It's more precious than all the long stemmed roses in all
the florist shops.
2) This morning I saw a dead pigeon that looked like it was just
sleeping lying in my side yard. The absence of visible trauma sent up
red flags. So I was going to just stay away from it. Then I realized
that some child might touch the bird or a loose dog or cat might nosh
on it or my husband might pick it up bare handed to throw it away.
So, taking proper hazmat precautions, I entombed it in an outside
trash can with a stone on top to deter potential animal diners. I
said a prayer and sang a verse of Abide With Me.
3) I was mourning today for all the volunteering I won't be able to do
this summer. Being an engaged community member is a huge part of my
identity. But the kinds of volunteering now all involve stuff I don't
have like a car and valid drivers license. Sometimes I can't help
wondering what good am I. (Jules)
What is my hooman talking about. She feeds me, cleans my box, finds
my toys, and gives me the attention a pretty girl needs. Anyone who
lives with a floof or goggie is essential personnel. It's not like
we'll evolve opposable thumbs any time soon.
I do like that Lisa. When she brings food she never forgets tuna and
chicken. I would give her two thumbs up if I had opposable thumbs.
(Tobago)
A great big shout out goes out to Lisa and all the others involved in
the mission of the Black Bear Exchange.
Tobago and Jules Hathaway



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