The New Normal

The New Normal

Adult nonfiction
Has your fitness level changed since the start of the pandemic?
I know mine has. The dining commons where I worked gave me access to
my most wholesome foods. And punctuating my studying with a few
rounds of the mall or the stairs in the union or getting up to dance
when a good song came on, not to mention a fast paced on my feet
student job, kept me plenty active. I knew I need to get back into
shape and was plenty motivated but had no clue how.
I am so glad I picked up Dr. Jennifer Ashton's The New Normal: A
Roadmap to Resilience in the Pandemic Era. It's a really great
companion to The Plague Year. While the latter zooms out to give us
the picture, the former is what it claims to be--a personal roadmap to
get us back on track.
One of the most important things Ashton does is telling us that
we don't need to feel shame if we've let nutrition, exercise, or sleep
(her three pillars) slide. Almost all of us have fallen off on at
least one. Even she, a doctor, has. Needless guilt has no place in
this new normal.
Ashton dedicates a chapter to each of these pillars, telling us
why slipping up is understandable given the circumstances, why getting
back with the program is so important, and some ways we can take steps
in the right direction. On the exercise front she gave me the way to
surmount my two hurdles. My attempts to walk have succumbed to
boredom. I'm going to buy a basketball and shoot hoops on a regular
basis. During the winter walking in the trailer park becomes a
falling hazard. Before the next winter I'm going to buy an indoor
bike for the break between semesters. On the sleep front she helped
me realize what I'm doing right. I have a consistent sleep cycle
thanks to my alarm cat who starts nagging me to go to bed at 9:00 and
pounces me if I'm not up by 5:30. She also assures us that small
steps taken consistently will get us where we need to go. I don't
know about you, but I needed to hear that.
Ashton also discusses some mega issues that have been
increasingly important. Here are three I especially appreciated.
1) Changing rules doesn't mean medical science can't be
trusted. It means learning is going on. This is something we all
should want. I mean where would we be if the guy who came up with our
first antibiotic hadn't been curious about the mold on his bread?
2) Not all information sources are created equal. Some are much
more trustworthy. There are ways to locate them.
3) Mental health is very important. We're going through a lot
of stress and uncertainty. Almost all of us have been impacted. For
those of us who have access to counseling it's a great idea. I zoom
saw a counselor six months and found her almost as crucial to
maintaining balance as Tobago cat.
There was one point I disagree with Ashton though. I cringed
when I read her advice to treat people over 65 like newborn babies.
I'm there. Let me tell you that is likely to trigger the behavior you
don't want. You put the person in a situation of two bad options:
giving in to being infantalized or rebelling. Developmental
psychologist Erik Erikson tells us that the eighth stage in life
revolves around integrity vs despair. The "obstinancy" she complains
about is probably what feels to the older person like the only way to
assert their integrity, their being more than the sum of their age and/
or comorbidities. Also how would you feel if you were in the position
of suddenly being treated like a baby?
But there is a good alternative: giving the older person a route
to making the right decisions from a position of agency and strength.
That's what my very smart adult kids did. From the beginning they
were about the we. We need to all take precautions. We can help
flatten the curve. Being a respected member of team Hathaway enabled
me to make responsible decisions without feeling weak. Last summer,
for instance, when UMaine decided to have in person classes I told my
kids that, having concerns about a second spike, I was opting for on
line classes. They said Mom, you are so smart. For my birthday and
Christmas presents they gave me my textbooks, saving me a trip to the
bookstore. That validated my agency and goals while getting what they
wanted. And that helped me develop an eyes on the prize narrative I
now use with the rest of the world: My goals--getting my masters and
PhD, contributing to research in my field, and influencing my beloved
undergrads--are so important to me I'm not going to do anything dumb
that could jeopardize my ability to achieve my dream. I'm loving that
people say stuff like, Jules, you are so awesome!
Anyway, I strongly urge you to buy this book, refer to it on a
frequent basis, and, if you can afford to do so, give copies to your
nearest and dearest.
But please don't treat older friends and relatives like neonates
when there are much better ways to get our cooperation.
On a purrrsonal note, I had a great day yesterday. First I got the
wonderful news that my favorite dining commons to work in will be
opened for weekday breakfasts and lunches. I will be happy to return
to the work I need to earn tuition in the autumn. After refraining
over safety concerns almost 18 months. Second, I went on campus for
the first time in that long to get my friend, Jodi, to help me with
some computer work. She also gave me a big box of Tobago's favorite
kind of cat food. People love Baby Girl. My kids, BTW, are fine with
my advances, secure in the trust that if greater caution becomes
necessary again I'll take it. (Jules)
Sea food is soooo good! Jodi knows what a kitty wants. (Tobago)
A great big shout out goes out to Team Hathaway for being awesome,
Anna for understanding why I want to stay at Wells rather than follow
her to the Bear's Den, and Jodi for helping me (Jules) and making
Tobago happy.
Tobago and Jules Hathaway




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