Notes On A Silencing

Notes On A Silencing

Adult memoir
When Lacy Crawford was fifteen she was a student at St. Paul's,
an exclusive private high school in New Hampshire. One night, at a
time at which students were mandated to stay in their own dorms, an
upperclassman called and begged her to come to his dorm and help him.
When she came in through his window his roommate was also there. They
both raped her orally. In addition to the fact that consent was not
asked for or given, it would have been meaningless. She was fifteen.
Both her assailants were eighteen. They would have been adults in the
eyes of the law.
Lacy remained silent. Her assailants didn't. They spread a
story that portrayed her as easy. Lewd remarks and offers followed
her through the halls. Her reputation and self esteem were seriously
damaged. And they gave her something she will probably never be able
to get rid of--herpes.
But that's not the most horrific part of Lacy's story. The way
the school handled the incident was more reprehensible. Although
mandated reporters, they didn't contact the police when they finally
found out. In fact they vilified her, insinuating that she was the
perpetrator and making a number of false claims. They would only let
her return for her senior year if she would agree not to press charges.
Decades later investigators discovered a disturbing number of
coveted up sexual assaults at that school--some by faculty members.
I was silenced when I was Lacy's age. My swimming teacher told
me to stay after class. He wanted to give me some advice on my
method. Only instead he pawed me under my bathing suit. He told me
that was our little secret.
I knew that if I kept his secret he'd be free to do bad things
to other girls. So I talked to an administrator, only to be told that
I was an evil, vicious child who would not be allowed to ruin the
reputation of a good man. If I didn't stop there would be consequences.
This kind of thing happens a lot more than most people think.
So please read Notes On A Silencing, especially if you have a daughter.
On a purrrsonal note, my week went well and fairly uneventfully.
We're finally getting the rain our farms and gardens need. My big
achievement was surprising Eugene with a blackberry pie for dessert
last night. He had no clue because now that the buses are safe here I
can stealth shop for ingredients. I have no plans for the weekend.
I'll just see what happens. (Jules)
Looks like a good day for a nap. (Tobago).
A great big shout out goes out to all the bus drivers and others who
enable those of us who can't drive to actually have lives.
Tobago and Jules Hathaway


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