A Tantelizing Trinity
juvenile fiction
As much as I enjoy reading information and insight packed books
on important issues, my brain seems incapable of handling nothing
but. It goes into a state of rebellion. Enough of the main course.
A little dessert please. After reading and reviewing Reign of Error I
found myself plucking 12 Finally By Wendy Mass off the library shelf.
The candy decorated cake on the cover practically promised sweets. I
became so caught up in it I also borrowed the sequel (13 Gifts) and
prequel (11 birthdays).
You see most series center on the same set of characters,
whether Nancy Drew and her chums whom I adored as a child or the
Babysitters Club kids who had me almost tearing my hair out as a read
alouding mom. Each of these three books, however, has a different
central character. What ties them together is a supposedly sleepy
little town called Willow Falls, a town of mystery and legend. Even
the most basic scientific laws can be suspended. Always in the
background is a very powerful and wise elderly woman named Angelina.
*Amanda, protagonist of 11 birthdays, and her ex best friend, Leo,
born on the same day, have a unique problem. Each day after their
eleventh birthday is a rerun of it. No one else seems to be aware of
this glitch. It seems they must find a way to get time back in
track. But how?
*Rory, heroine of 12 Finally, has a gigantic list of things she will
finally be allowed to do when she hits her twelth birthday.
Unexpected complications arise with each rite of passage.
Hypoallergenic earrings make her lobes swollen and pus filled. Her
pet rabbit behaves like something out of a Stephen King novel. What
in the world is going on?
*Tara, star of 13 Gifts, has been sent to Willow Falls as a
punishment. Maybe she shouldn't have stolen a goat and pepper sprayed
her principal. When she tries to steal and sell a valuable comic book
belonging to her uncle a strange old woman warns her she's in danger
of getting in big trouble not only of the mundane earthly variety, but
involving soul endangerment. She has to acquire thirteen strange and
unique items for this woman to avert disaster. But is there enough
time?
Oh, yeah, there's one more commonality. Each girl cannot
achieve her goal unless she learns a spiritual lesson. This creates
in each book a delightful paradox. Each world and its inhabitants are
at the same time intriguingly far away and ever so close.
I certainly hope that Wendy Mass is going to give us another visit to
Willow Falls in the near future.
On a personal note, sometimes I feel like I have my own Angelina in
the person of Betsy. Let's hope that I'm learning what I need to be.
A great big shout out goes out to writers who can create believable
alternate worlds or at least towns and inspired and inspiring mentors.
Julia Emily Hathaway
Sent from my iPod
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Reign Of Error
Reign Of Error
Sometimes in the course of human events you get a book that
exposes an evil so completely and pursuasively it can't be ignored.
Think Uncle Tom's Cabin and slavery. Think Silent Spring and
pesticides. Hopefully Diane Ravitch's Reign of Error: The Hoax of
the Privatization Movement and the Danger to America's Public Schools
can do a similar consciousness raising for education under the tyranny
of standardized tests and the peril of for profit charters.
We're hearing a lot of gloom and doom when it comes to American
public education. Our kids are being outscored by most of the world
on international tests. Despite our pouring gazillions of dollars
into them, our schools are performing abysmally. Because of this our
way of life is in jeopardy. We must waste no time in finding and
rewarding teachers and schools that can boost those all important test
scores and winnowing out those who can't.
Ravitch debunks these fears. When numbers are looked at
correctly we're doing just fine in relation to the rest of the world.
In fact some countries who boast ultra high scores send their kids
whose parents can afford it to America so they can learn by creative
techniques rather than rote memorization. Yes, there are some schools
and districts that are lagging behind the rest. By some strange
coincidence those are the ones with the largest concentrations of poor
and minority children.
Ravitch exposes the strange double speak of the bureaucratic
Chicken Littles (remember the sky is falling down) among us.
Educational "reformers" are in favor of privatization, rather than
improvement of education. Oops, people don't like the word
privatization. So let's call it "choice". "Merit pay" rewards
teachers who bring test scores up the most. Only that achievement
seems to have a lot to do with having students who are't poor,
minority, or disabled. Even different cohorts of students can make
one year's outstanding teacher the next year's in need of
improvement. Tenure for teachers is claimed to make it impossible to
get rid of the bad ones. In preK to 12 world it merely is a guarantee
of due process. I could go forever. You're lucky. I won't.
Basically a lot of people are putting too much time and money
into convincing us that our public schools are in such bad shape they
need to be drastically altered or euthanized and replaced. Ravitch
shows that the danger (other than that posed by poverty, something
that education's saviors refuse to tackle) comes instead from those
who want to "reform" it. No Child Left Behind and Race To The Top set
increasingly unrealistic test score standards, setting up all schools
for failure. Recall how this is the year all students, regardless of
disability, poverty, or level of familiarity with English, are
supposed to score as proficient. (In what state is this going to
happen? Certainly not in Maine.). It sets the stage for shifting
students and funding to largely unregulated for profit schools,
eventually crippling if not destroying the most egalitarian schooling
we're capable of.
Fortunately Ravitch does not think it's too late to fight back.
She tells us what kids need to become happy and productive citizens.
She ends the book with this charge to all who truly care about
children and education.
"Despite its faults, the American system of democratically
controlled schools has been the mainstay of our communities and the
foundation for our nation's success. We must work together to improve
our public schools. We must extend the promise of equal educational
opportunity to all the children of our nation. Protecting our public
schools against privatization and saving them for future generations
of American children is the civil rights issue of our time."
On a personal note, I'm really excited. An op ed piece I wrote about
the dangers of basing education on international competition and the
need to shift to international cooperation will be in the Bangor Daily
News any day now. I feel like a little kid waiting for Santa to arrive.
A great big shout out goes out to all who strive valiently to protect
our schools from the all too wide spread Reign of Error.
Julia Emily Hathaway
Sent from my iPod
Sometimes in the course of human events you get a book that
exposes an evil so completely and pursuasively it can't be ignored.
Think Uncle Tom's Cabin and slavery. Think Silent Spring and
pesticides. Hopefully Diane Ravitch's Reign of Error: The Hoax of
the Privatization Movement and the Danger to America's Public Schools
can do a similar consciousness raising for education under the tyranny
of standardized tests and the peril of for profit charters.
We're hearing a lot of gloom and doom when it comes to American
public education. Our kids are being outscored by most of the world
on international tests. Despite our pouring gazillions of dollars
into them, our schools are performing abysmally. Because of this our
way of life is in jeopardy. We must waste no time in finding and
rewarding teachers and schools that can boost those all important test
scores and winnowing out those who can't.
Ravitch debunks these fears. When numbers are looked at
correctly we're doing just fine in relation to the rest of the world.
In fact some countries who boast ultra high scores send their kids
whose parents can afford it to America so they can learn by creative
techniques rather than rote memorization. Yes, there are some schools
and districts that are lagging behind the rest. By some strange
coincidence those are the ones with the largest concentrations of poor
and minority children.
Ravitch exposes the strange double speak of the bureaucratic
Chicken Littles (remember the sky is falling down) among us.
Educational "reformers" are in favor of privatization, rather than
improvement of education. Oops, people don't like the word
privatization. So let's call it "choice". "Merit pay" rewards
teachers who bring test scores up the most. Only that achievement
seems to have a lot to do with having students who are't poor,
minority, or disabled. Even different cohorts of students can make
one year's outstanding teacher the next year's in need of
improvement. Tenure for teachers is claimed to make it impossible to
get rid of the bad ones. In preK to 12 world it merely is a guarantee
of due process. I could go forever. You're lucky. I won't.
Basically a lot of people are putting too much time and money
into convincing us that our public schools are in such bad shape they
need to be drastically altered or euthanized and replaced. Ravitch
shows that the danger (other than that posed by poverty, something
that education's saviors refuse to tackle) comes instead from those
who want to "reform" it. No Child Left Behind and Race To The Top set
increasingly unrealistic test score standards, setting up all schools
for failure. Recall how this is the year all students, regardless of
disability, poverty, or level of familiarity with English, are
supposed to score as proficient. (In what state is this going to
happen? Certainly not in Maine.). It sets the stage for shifting
students and funding to largely unregulated for profit schools,
eventually crippling if not destroying the most egalitarian schooling
we're capable of.
Fortunately Ravitch does not think it's too late to fight back.
She tells us what kids need to become happy and productive citizens.
She ends the book with this charge to all who truly care about
children and education.
"Despite its faults, the American system of democratically
controlled schools has been the mainstay of our communities and the
foundation for our nation's success. We must work together to improve
our public schools. We must extend the promise of equal educational
opportunity to all the children of our nation. Protecting our public
schools against privatization and saving them for future generations
of American children is the civil rights issue of our time."
On a personal note, I'm really excited. An op ed piece I wrote about
the dangers of basing education on international competition and the
need to shift to international cooperation will be in the Bangor Daily
News any day now. I feel like a little kid waiting for Santa to arrive.
A great big shout out goes out to all who strive valiently to protect
our schools from the all too wide spread Reign of Error.
Julia Emily Hathaway
Sent from my iPod
The Boy On The Wooden Box
The Boy On The Wooden Box
Juvenile biography
"Rabbis resisted by conducting services on Jewish holy days.
Doctors and nurses resisted by fighting to save the lives of the ill
and injured and by bringing new life into the world. Actors and
musicians resisted by creating makeshift stages in hidden courtyards
and performing plays and skits and holding concerts, affirming that
beauty and culture could exist even in the midst of the horrible
circumstances of the ghetto."
I hope those words take your breath away, as they did mine, when
I tell you that they were written about the author's experience in a
ghetto in World War II. These people were trapped in a situation of
extreme privation by those who viewed their existence the way I saw
the lice my daughter brought home from first grade. Can you imagine
being relentlessly hunted down by people who saw you and your loved
ones as vermin to be exterminated? In this setting treating one
another with decency and respect and affirming life and prospects for
a future (bringing babies into a very precarious world) were some of
the most radical acts possible.
The Boy On The Wooden Box by Leon and Elisabeth Leyson and
Marilyn Harran is one of the most heart breaking and hope inspiring
books I have ever read. Don't let the juvenile designation fool you.
Kids, parents, and grandparents will be blown away by this amazing
volume. Leon is Everykid trapped in a nightmare horrific beyond the
most lurid imaginings of Steven King. His words, all the more
eloquent for their simplicity, bring home the evil of the Holocaust in
a way that mind boggling statistics can't.
Leon started out as a child, savoring what life had to offer:
swimming in the river, crafting skates to race across the ice,
enjoying rare moments (he was the youngest of five) of his mother's
attention and presents his father would bring back from the big city
where he worked. "...I cherish the memories of the small world where
I lived the first years of my childhood. It was a world defined by the
love and warmth of family. The predictable pattern of life made the
rare moments of surprise especially memorable".
When Leon was eight his father saved up enough money to bring
his wife and children to live with him in Krakow. It was there where
he experienced wonders like indoor plumbing. It was also there he
would experience escalating hate and violence. Former friends
rejected him. Nazis beat his father viciously and took him off into
the night.
As he grew up Leon experienced what no child should ever have
to. He lost two brothers and the whole of his extended family. In
the ghetto and concentration camp he lived in a world of starvation,
illness, death, and the constant fear of random cruelty. In an
especially graphic episode he tells of his brother having to dig up
rotting corpses from mass garaves to burn them.
Leon also experienced the kindness of Oskar Schindler, a
manufacturer who took incredible risks to save as many Jews as
possible. He was also someone who took a personal interest in his
Jewish people, addressing them by name, treating them with a decency
that was then law breaking. In one touching instance he seeks out
Leon's mother to tell her her son and husband are not being taken back
to a concentration camp.
I believe The Boy On The Wooden Box and others in its genre are
not only great literature, but moral imperatives for those of us who
take never again seriously. Sadly leaders too often very skillfully
blame scapegoats for all that goes wrong, portraying them as threats
to the rest of us. We must, not once but continuously, make the
conscious choice to embrace and defend common humanity rather than be
swept along in tidal waves of prejudice. Hitler got as far as he did
by convincing a lot of people that Jews were way less than sentient
beings.
On a personal note, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. In my emails I received
the story of a beautiful little girl trying to survive after the war.
Along with her home and father, she had lost peace and security. One
day she was amazed by a CARE package containing white paper, pencils
with erasers, toothbrushes and toothpaste. Enjoy the day but don't
just eat turkey and watch football. Please go beyond Thanksgiving to
Thanksliving, a constant awareness of all we have and the many
opportunities to share with those in need. (Thank you, Pastor Steve,
for this wonderful word!)
A great big shout out goes out to all in the past and present who take
huge risks to save others from man made perils. In their honor
tomorrow I will raise the most magnificent toast ever:
L'Chaim (to life)!
Julia Emily Hathaway
Sent from my iPod
Juvenile biography
"Rabbis resisted by conducting services on Jewish holy days.
Doctors and nurses resisted by fighting to save the lives of the ill
and injured and by bringing new life into the world. Actors and
musicians resisted by creating makeshift stages in hidden courtyards
and performing plays and skits and holding concerts, affirming that
beauty and culture could exist even in the midst of the horrible
circumstances of the ghetto."
I hope those words take your breath away, as they did mine, when
I tell you that they were written about the author's experience in a
ghetto in World War II. These people were trapped in a situation of
extreme privation by those who viewed their existence the way I saw
the lice my daughter brought home from first grade. Can you imagine
being relentlessly hunted down by people who saw you and your loved
ones as vermin to be exterminated? In this setting treating one
another with decency and respect and affirming life and prospects for
a future (bringing babies into a very precarious world) were some of
the most radical acts possible.
The Boy On The Wooden Box by Leon and Elisabeth Leyson and
Marilyn Harran is one of the most heart breaking and hope inspiring
books I have ever read. Don't let the juvenile designation fool you.
Kids, parents, and grandparents will be blown away by this amazing
volume. Leon is Everykid trapped in a nightmare horrific beyond the
most lurid imaginings of Steven King. His words, all the more
eloquent for their simplicity, bring home the evil of the Holocaust in
a way that mind boggling statistics can't.
Leon started out as a child, savoring what life had to offer:
swimming in the river, crafting skates to race across the ice,
enjoying rare moments (he was the youngest of five) of his mother's
attention and presents his father would bring back from the big city
where he worked. "...I cherish the memories of the small world where
I lived the first years of my childhood. It was a world defined by the
love and warmth of family. The predictable pattern of life made the
rare moments of surprise especially memorable".
When Leon was eight his father saved up enough money to bring
his wife and children to live with him in Krakow. It was there where
he experienced wonders like indoor plumbing. It was also there he
would experience escalating hate and violence. Former friends
rejected him. Nazis beat his father viciously and took him off into
the night.
As he grew up Leon experienced what no child should ever have
to. He lost two brothers and the whole of his extended family. In
the ghetto and concentration camp he lived in a world of starvation,
illness, death, and the constant fear of random cruelty. In an
especially graphic episode he tells of his brother having to dig up
rotting corpses from mass garaves to burn them.
Leon also experienced the kindness of Oskar Schindler, a
manufacturer who took incredible risks to save as many Jews as
possible. He was also someone who took a personal interest in his
Jewish people, addressing them by name, treating them with a decency
that was then law breaking. In one touching instance he seeks out
Leon's mother to tell her her son and husband are not being taken back
to a concentration camp.
I believe The Boy On The Wooden Box and others in its genre are
not only great literature, but moral imperatives for those of us who
take never again seriously. Sadly leaders too often very skillfully
blame scapegoats for all that goes wrong, portraying them as threats
to the rest of us. We must, not once but continuously, make the
conscious choice to embrace and defend common humanity rather than be
swept along in tidal waves of prejudice. Hitler got as far as he did
by convincing a lot of people that Jews were way less than sentient
beings.
On a personal note, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. In my emails I received
the story of a beautiful little girl trying to survive after the war.
Along with her home and father, she had lost peace and security. One
day she was amazed by a CARE package containing white paper, pencils
with erasers, toothbrushes and toothpaste. Enjoy the day but don't
just eat turkey and watch football. Please go beyond Thanksgiving to
Thanksliving, a constant awareness of all we have and the many
opportunities to share with those in need. (Thank you, Pastor Steve,
for this wonderful word!)
A great big shout out goes out to all in the past and present who take
huge risks to save others from man made perils. In their honor
tomorrow I will raise the most magnificent toast ever:
L'Chaim (to life)!
Julia Emily Hathaway
Sent from my iPod
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Rapt
Rapt
I've never met most of you. I'm guessing that if I had this
pleasure chances are good you'd tell me you're "busy, busy, busy" or
some variant thereof. Today most people do. And most people feel
stressed, overextended, unable to do the things that make their hearts
sing and spend time with the people they love the most.
Recently I had the pleasure of meeting an Amish farm family:
mother, father, and seven beautiful children. By any accounts they
were busy: crops, animals, crafting furniture to sell, food
preserving and preparing, housekeeping... But they were not frantic.
They were living mindfully. They were connecting instead of flying
past each other. You just knew that they would sit at table together
for supper without being nagged.
So why, of these two groups, do the ones who are the
beneficiaries of labor saving devices feel the most exhausted and
frazzled? Is this the cost of living in our modern age? More to the
point, is this the inevitable cost?In her book Rapt: Attention and
the Focused Life, a must read for all who feel trapped in a rat race,
Winifred Gallagher answers with a resounding no. A near tragic event
in her life brought her an epiphany. "Walking away from the hospital
after the biopsy from Hell--not just cancer, but a particularly nasty,
fairly advanced kind--I had an intuition of a highly unusual blue-
white clarity. This disease wanted to monopolize my attention, but as
much as possible, I would focus on my life instead." YOWZA!
Attention is the key. Just in going through the activities of
daily living you are constantly bombarded by more stimuli than your
brain can possibly take in and process. Think of this as the
psychological equivalent of having just a little money and a lot of
things to spend it on. We've all been there, haven't we? With both
money and attention you can either squander or spend wisely.
Attention can be captured in a bottom up, stimulus driven way.
Hearing an ambulance siren while driving, you'll pull over to the side
of the road. Conversely, top-down attention is self-directed
focussing. The night before shopping day the hubby studies the sales
brochures for money saving coupons on things he plans to buy. We have
a lot more control over this than most of us imagine. Rapt gives us
the key to achieving this control, to going from a stimulus driven,
pulled in too many directions, frenzied existence to a mindful, even
rapt, life.
Gallagher starts with the basics of the two way interactions
between focus and feelings and focus and environmental input. She
shows that nature and nurture both play roles in shaping our unique
ways of deploying and sustaining attention. She applies her insights
into the worlds of relationships and work. She discusses the threats
to mindfulness posed by modern technology and disputes the commonly
accepted verities that multi tasking is good and that daydreaming is
detrimental.
This is not one of the annoying, preachy, my-way-or-the-highway
volumes that talks down to us and promises happy ever after in
exchange for strict adherence. Gallagher knows each of us will attend
to it through the unique lens of personal experience and state of mind
and heart. What she would like to provide us with is a chance for
epiphany without the stimulus of crisis. "After running that tough
experiment, however, I'll choose my targets with care--writing a book
or making a stew, visiting a friend or looking out a window--then give
them my rapt attention. In short, I'll live the focused life, because
that's it's the best kind there is."
It's the life I want? Isn't it the life you deserve. If you're
frazzled and harried with no end in sight this insightful book may be
the key to unlocking your cage.
On a personal note, I savored this book, taking about a week to read
it. There was so much to think about in each chapter. It was the
mental equivalent of a humungous cheesecake. I so want a lifestyle
for us all that keeps technology in it's (servant) useful place and
allows us to live humanely and mindfully.
A great big shout out goes out to Gallagher for sharing with us her
hard won wisdom.
Julia Emily Hathaway
Sent from my iPod
I've never met most of you. I'm guessing that if I had this
pleasure chances are good you'd tell me you're "busy, busy, busy" or
some variant thereof. Today most people do. And most people feel
stressed, overextended, unable to do the things that make their hearts
sing and spend time with the people they love the most.
Recently I had the pleasure of meeting an Amish farm family:
mother, father, and seven beautiful children. By any accounts they
were busy: crops, animals, crafting furniture to sell, food
preserving and preparing, housekeeping... But they were not frantic.
They were living mindfully. They were connecting instead of flying
past each other. You just knew that they would sit at table together
for supper without being nagged.
So why, of these two groups, do the ones who are the
beneficiaries of labor saving devices feel the most exhausted and
frazzled? Is this the cost of living in our modern age? More to the
point, is this the inevitable cost?In her book Rapt: Attention and
the Focused Life, a must read for all who feel trapped in a rat race,
Winifred Gallagher answers with a resounding no. A near tragic event
in her life brought her an epiphany. "Walking away from the hospital
after the biopsy from Hell--not just cancer, but a particularly nasty,
fairly advanced kind--I had an intuition of a highly unusual blue-
white clarity. This disease wanted to monopolize my attention, but as
much as possible, I would focus on my life instead." YOWZA!
Attention is the key. Just in going through the activities of
daily living you are constantly bombarded by more stimuli than your
brain can possibly take in and process. Think of this as the
psychological equivalent of having just a little money and a lot of
things to spend it on. We've all been there, haven't we? With both
money and attention you can either squander or spend wisely.
Attention can be captured in a bottom up, stimulus driven way.
Hearing an ambulance siren while driving, you'll pull over to the side
of the road. Conversely, top-down attention is self-directed
focussing. The night before shopping day the hubby studies the sales
brochures for money saving coupons on things he plans to buy. We have
a lot more control over this than most of us imagine. Rapt gives us
the key to achieving this control, to going from a stimulus driven,
pulled in too many directions, frenzied existence to a mindful, even
rapt, life.
Gallagher starts with the basics of the two way interactions
between focus and feelings and focus and environmental input. She
shows that nature and nurture both play roles in shaping our unique
ways of deploying and sustaining attention. She applies her insights
into the worlds of relationships and work. She discusses the threats
to mindfulness posed by modern technology and disputes the commonly
accepted verities that multi tasking is good and that daydreaming is
detrimental.
This is not one of the annoying, preachy, my-way-or-the-highway
volumes that talks down to us and promises happy ever after in
exchange for strict adherence. Gallagher knows each of us will attend
to it through the unique lens of personal experience and state of mind
and heart. What she would like to provide us with is a chance for
epiphany without the stimulus of crisis. "After running that tough
experiment, however, I'll choose my targets with care--writing a book
or making a stew, visiting a friend or looking out a window--then give
them my rapt attention. In short, I'll live the focused life, because
that's it's the best kind there is."
It's the life I want? Isn't it the life you deserve. If you're
frazzled and harried with no end in sight this insightful book may be
the key to unlocking your cage.
On a personal note, I savored this book, taking about a week to read
it. There was so much to think about in each chapter. It was the
mental equivalent of a humungous cheesecake. I so want a lifestyle
for us all that keeps technology in it's (servant) useful place and
allows us to live humanely and mindfully.
A great big shout out goes out to Gallagher for sharing with us her
hard won wisdom.
Julia Emily Hathaway
Sent from my iPod
Firegirl
Firegirl
Sometimes we read about them in the papers or hear their stories
on tv news. Sometimes they are known only to those around them like
my sister, Harriet, who survived spinal meningitis, losing a
hemisphere to that awful disease. They miraculously live through a
deadly disease, accident, or assault. That is where the story ends
for most of the world. But not for the child involved...
...she or he must go out into a world that may be much less than
welcoming, especially if he or she looks or acts dramatically
different. Can you imagine needing support and affirmation more than
ever and frightening or creating revulsion in your peer group? In
Firegirl Tony Abbott touches beautifully on this issue.
Tom is one of those kids who sort of fades into the background.
His mom attributes that to the fact he "doesn't get out there." He has
a crush on a cute girl, a friend, Jeff, to hang out with, and a life
he considers ordinairy.
Everything changes for him when Jessica, victim of a horrible
accident, enters his classroom. At first he's as horrified by her
burns as the rest of the class. But he can't just write her off like
the rest of them. And therein lies the difference...
Firegirl is an oldie (2006) with a timeless message. If your
library doesn't have it, I'd suggest procuring it through inter
library loan. None of us, kids or adults, ever know when we'll be
called to push past our fears and prejudices to extend the hand of
acceptance to someone who might need it desperately.
On a personal note, spring semester 1990, great with child, I studied
journalistic ethics. Kathryn Olmstead was the teacher. I can still
see her in my mind throwing out questions and really listening to what
we had to say. We studied about a little girl, Sage I think, who
suffered terrible burns. Media coverage was the controversy. Were
her parents raising awareness of the plight of people like their
daughter or using her situation to their own advantage? What should
the media do in that situation?
A great big shout out goes out to Kathryn Olmstead for her just
published book which I shall review as soon as I get my hands on a copy.
Sent from my iPod
Sometimes we read about them in the papers or hear their stories
on tv news. Sometimes they are known only to those around them like
my sister, Harriet, who survived spinal meningitis, losing a
hemisphere to that awful disease. They miraculously live through a
deadly disease, accident, or assault. That is where the story ends
for most of the world. But not for the child involved...
...she or he must go out into a world that may be much less than
welcoming, especially if he or she looks or acts dramatically
different. Can you imagine needing support and affirmation more than
ever and frightening or creating revulsion in your peer group? In
Firegirl Tony Abbott touches beautifully on this issue.
Tom is one of those kids who sort of fades into the background.
His mom attributes that to the fact he "doesn't get out there." He has
a crush on a cute girl, a friend, Jeff, to hang out with, and a life
he considers ordinairy.
Everything changes for him when Jessica, victim of a horrible
accident, enters his classroom. At first he's as horrified by her
burns as the rest of the class. But he can't just write her off like
the rest of them. And therein lies the difference...
Firegirl is an oldie (2006) with a timeless message. If your
library doesn't have it, I'd suggest procuring it through inter
library loan. None of us, kids or adults, ever know when we'll be
called to push past our fears and prejudices to extend the hand of
acceptance to someone who might need it desperately.
On a personal note, spring semester 1990, great with child, I studied
journalistic ethics. Kathryn Olmstead was the teacher. I can still
see her in my mind throwing out questions and really listening to what
we had to say. We studied about a little girl, Sage I think, who
suffered terrible burns. Media coverage was the controversy. Were
her parents raising awareness of the plight of people like their
daughter or using her situation to their own advantage? What should
the media do in that situation?
A great big shout out goes out to Kathryn Olmstead for her just
published book which I shall review as soon as I get my hands on a copy.
Sent from my iPod
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads
Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads
Do you have a few less than fond memories of junior high/middle
school? Did you think with graduation you'd put all the drama behind
you? Have you discovered that when your own kids get old enough for
school some of your fellow parents seem not to have, shall we say,
matured much? No, you are not paranoid. Luckily there is help in
store for navigating this often confusing, sometimes quite frustrating
scene. Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabees has taken
the same candid look at parent social behavior as she did at that of
school kids. Her Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads packs a lot of
wisdom and good advice.
Wiseman wrote Queen Bees & Wannabees to help parents understand
and help their kids navigate the treacherous water of what she calls
Girl World and Boy World. As she toured to promote that book she
found a lot of parents who wanted the same kind of assistance in
surviving Perfect Parent World, "...It's a world that convinces
parents to make decisions based on their fear of other people's
judgements and leaves them struggling over whether and how much to get
involved in their children's schools and social lives. In this world,
many parents compete ruthlessly through their children, while other
parents fear to speak out against them. And it has all of us reliving
the traumas and dilemmas of our own youth, even as we're surprised to
learn that those decades-long obsessions have returned or are still
alive--if indeed they ever disappeared entirely."
Wiseman opens Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads with the same candor
that marked her earlier book. It's not always the other parent being
outrageous. We love our kids. When we perceive them to be
disadvantaged or in jeopardy it doesn't always bring out the best in
us. Wiseman, a self-professed far-from-perfect parent, encourages us,
with compassion rather than condemnation, to look in the mirror as
well as outward. She tells us how to confront overbearing parents.
She also tells us how to put a check on our own misbehaviors.
We start with an analysis of Perfect Parent World. Checklists
show what moms and dads consider acting like a mom or a dad. (The mom
one seems inpossible except maybe in the world of The Stepford Wives.)
There is extensive analysis of the roles moms and dads play in their
respective social groups. Some filters through which we view life--
marital status, race/ethnicity, religion, and generation are brought up.
Part two brings this wisdom to bear on more specific situations--
dealing with folks like:
*teachers who grade unfairly
*principals who won't intervene
*coaches who bully or belittle
*bad sport spectators
*PTAs that exclude all but in crowd parents
*adults who slander
*parents who think someone else's kid is always to blame...
This is a very insightful, useful book which I highly recommend.
On a personal note, I felt vindicated when I read it. Wiseman put it
in black and white. Some parents are outcasts because of factors like
living in the "wrong"neighborhood. Every time I had a child enter
kindergarten I reached out to the other kids' parents in the spirit of
friendship, only to be excluded. Because of this I am all the more
appreciative of the many fine friends I've since made in the larger
world.
A great big shout out goes out to parents, teachers, coaches, and
other grownups who can behave like adults for the benefit of all our
kids.
Julia Emily Hathaway
HOT OFF THE PRESS: I was just flipping through a recent issue of
Family Circle and found that Wiseman has a NEW book out, Masterminds
and Wingmen. Parents of boys, stay tuned. I plan to read and review
as soon as Joyce can obtain the book through inter library loan.
YOWZA!!!
Sent from my iPod
Do you have a few less than fond memories of junior high/middle
school? Did you think with graduation you'd put all the drama behind
you? Have you discovered that when your own kids get old enough for
school some of your fellow parents seem not to have, shall we say,
matured much? No, you are not paranoid. Luckily there is help in
store for navigating this often confusing, sometimes quite frustrating
scene. Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabees has taken
the same candid look at parent social behavior as she did at that of
school kids. Her Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads packs a lot of
wisdom and good advice.
Wiseman wrote Queen Bees & Wannabees to help parents understand
and help their kids navigate the treacherous water of what she calls
Girl World and Boy World. As she toured to promote that book she
found a lot of parents who wanted the same kind of assistance in
surviving Perfect Parent World, "...It's a world that convinces
parents to make decisions based on their fear of other people's
judgements and leaves them struggling over whether and how much to get
involved in their children's schools and social lives. In this world,
many parents compete ruthlessly through their children, while other
parents fear to speak out against them. And it has all of us reliving
the traumas and dilemmas of our own youth, even as we're surprised to
learn that those decades-long obsessions have returned or are still
alive--if indeed they ever disappeared entirely."
Wiseman opens Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads with the same candor
that marked her earlier book. It's not always the other parent being
outrageous. We love our kids. When we perceive them to be
disadvantaged or in jeopardy it doesn't always bring out the best in
us. Wiseman, a self-professed far-from-perfect parent, encourages us,
with compassion rather than condemnation, to look in the mirror as
well as outward. She tells us how to confront overbearing parents.
She also tells us how to put a check on our own misbehaviors.
We start with an analysis of Perfect Parent World. Checklists
show what moms and dads consider acting like a mom or a dad. (The mom
one seems inpossible except maybe in the world of The Stepford Wives.)
There is extensive analysis of the roles moms and dads play in their
respective social groups. Some filters through which we view life--
marital status, race/ethnicity, religion, and generation are brought up.
Part two brings this wisdom to bear on more specific situations--
dealing with folks like:
*teachers who grade unfairly
*principals who won't intervene
*coaches who bully or belittle
*bad sport spectators
*PTAs that exclude all but in crowd parents
*adults who slander
*parents who think someone else's kid is always to blame...
This is a very insightful, useful book which I highly recommend.
On a personal note, I felt vindicated when I read it. Wiseman put it
in black and white. Some parents are outcasts because of factors like
living in the "wrong"neighborhood. Every time I had a child enter
kindergarten I reached out to the other kids' parents in the spirit of
friendship, only to be excluded. Because of this I am all the more
appreciative of the many fine friends I've since made in the larger
world.
A great big shout out goes out to parents, teachers, coaches, and
other grownups who can behave like adults for the benefit of all our
kids.
Julia Emily Hathaway
HOT OFF THE PRESS: I was just flipping through a recent issue of
Family Circle and found that Wiseman has a NEW book out, Masterminds
and Wingmen. Parents of boys, stay tuned. I plan to read and review
as soon as Joyce can obtain the book through inter library loan.
YOWZA!!!
Sent from my iPod
Sunday, November 3, 2013
So Sexy So Soon
So Sexy So Soon
Parenting
Remember Halloween costumes from your childhood? There were the
flimsy packaged ones with the masks with eyeholes that never really
worked. Some of us made our own. I remember spending hours sewing
beads and sequins on a gypsy get up in fifth grade. And some of my
classmates always seemed to bust out the hobo look at the last
second. What they all had in common was that we were obviously all
kids having childhood fun.
Costumes for girls these days are a whole nother story. Age
compression is hitting with a vengeance. Even toddlers barely out of
diapers are turned out in garments that are suggestive and overly sexy.
That is just one facet of Diane Levin and Jean Kilbourne's all
too timely So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood And What
Parents Can Do To Protect Our Kids. Make no mistake. We have lots of
need to be protecting our children. They are in the cross hairs of
corporations and their pals in media who know just how to exploit
their vulnerabilities.
Levin and Kilbourne quote a ZMag.com commentator as follows:
"Teach seven-year-olds that sexual expression is a matter of
accessorizing and you've secured a lifetime of purchasing in the
lingerie department. Disassociate sex from non-market feelings
(pleasure, desire, intimacy) and associate it instead with consumable
superficialities, and you'll not only keep the rabble in line, you'll
have them lined up at the mall."
Nough said?
So what's a parent to do? Plenty, it turns out. So Sexy So
Soon gives a wealth of advice on not only how to protect our own
individual children, but to change our society for the salvation of
all kids.
In my mind, this book is a must read for parents, grandparents,
teachers, admin, school boards, guidance, clergy...basically all who
sincerely care about the next generation.
On a personal note, I had a most excellent Halloween. I spent the day
tricked out as a very modest cow with a red and black feather boa. In
the day I did a trick or treat in the University of Maine student
union with my commuter lounge pals. We got scads of candy and cool
sunglasses, coffee mugs etc. Then in the evening I volunteered at the
Orono Public Library Halloween party, helping little kids decorate
cookies. So much good clean fun.
A great big shout out goes out to all who made Halloween special for
revelers large and small.
Julia Emily Hathaway
Sent from my iPod
Parenting
Remember Halloween costumes from your childhood? There were the
flimsy packaged ones with the masks with eyeholes that never really
worked. Some of us made our own. I remember spending hours sewing
beads and sequins on a gypsy get up in fifth grade. And some of my
classmates always seemed to bust out the hobo look at the last
second. What they all had in common was that we were obviously all
kids having childhood fun.
Costumes for girls these days are a whole nother story. Age
compression is hitting with a vengeance. Even toddlers barely out of
diapers are turned out in garments that are suggestive and overly sexy.
That is just one facet of Diane Levin and Jean Kilbourne's all
too timely So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood And What
Parents Can Do To Protect Our Kids. Make no mistake. We have lots of
need to be protecting our children. They are in the cross hairs of
corporations and their pals in media who know just how to exploit
their vulnerabilities.
Levin and Kilbourne quote a ZMag.com commentator as follows:
"Teach seven-year-olds that sexual expression is a matter of
accessorizing and you've secured a lifetime of purchasing in the
lingerie department. Disassociate sex from non-market feelings
(pleasure, desire, intimacy) and associate it instead with consumable
superficialities, and you'll not only keep the rabble in line, you'll
have them lined up at the mall."
Nough said?
So what's a parent to do? Plenty, it turns out. So Sexy So
Soon gives a wealth of advice on not only how to protect our own
individual children, but to change our society for the salvation of
all kids.
In my mind, this book is a must read for parents, grandparents,
teachers, admin, school boards, guidance, clergy...basically all who
sincerely care about the next generation.
On a personal note, I had a most excellent Halloween. I spent the day
tricked out as a very modest cow with a red and black feather boa. In
the day I did a trick or treat in the University of Maine student
union with my commuter lounge pals. We got scads of candy and cool
sunglasses, coffee mugs etc. Then in the evening I volunteered at the
Orono Public Library Halloween party, helping little kids decorate
cookies. So much good clean fun.
A great big shout out goes out to all who made Halloween special for
revelers large and small.
Julia Emily Hathaway
Sent from my iPod
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