The Cost Of Knowing

     "I know that I can't stop it, but I shut my eyes and begin ripping through the facts I have in my head regardless.  Everyone dies.  Isaiah's going to die, just like me, but is it really in only a few days?"

     Imagine you can see into the future.  Usually what  you see is pretty mundane.  But sometimes it's something pretty tragic that's going to happen to someone you love.  And there's nothing you can do to prevent it.

     That's the plight of Alex, protagonist of Brittney Morris' The Cost of Knowing.  He and his little brother, Isaiah, live with their Aunt Mackie.  Their parents died years ago in a car accident.  Ever since then every time he touches an object or person he sees into its/their future.  That's why he wants to just wash dishes at the ice cream parlor where he has a part time job.  He gets too many visions from all the customers when he works up front.  And it's why he is reluctant to touch his girlfriend, no matter how much he wants to.

     A few years Alex had foreseen the death of his best friend and run away not wanting to witness it.  Even though he was only thirteen then he feels guilt and regret.  What if in his last moments on Earth Shaun had felt abandoned?

     One day, touching a photograph, Alex sees Isaiah's funeral.  He realizes his brother's death will happen in a matter of days, a week at the most.  He hasn't spent much time with Isaiah since their parents' death.  But perhaps if he hangs out with him he can prevent him from dying or, at least, make his last days on Earth special.

     The Cost of Knowing is super engaging.  Almost too engaging.  I almost put the book down for good a couple of times because I didn't want to read about Isaiah dying.  That's how real Morris' characters are.  

     It also raises some important race related questions.  Alex desperately wants Isaiah to be able to just be a twelve-year-old boy and not have to think on how to protect himself in a society that sees him as adult and too often thug.  

     And then there's the Karen's, the whites who will proclaim left and right that they don't have a racist bone in them but harbor a deep down fear of people of color and make assumptions based on this fear and act on those assumptions, either calling in the police or taking matters into their own hands.  

     Talking to his Aunt Mackie, Alex says that white people have to stop making those assumptions so that people of color can stop dying from them.  Mackie says this will be very hard to achieve.  

     "It crushes me, the knowledge that she's right.  But I still feel compelled to try.  How do I explain to Mrs. Zaccari that apart from the cops, white women are just as scary to me now.  How do I explain that just by existing, I'm guilty until proven innocent?  That Isaiah was guilty until proven innocent?"

     Speaking through Alex, Morris reminds readers that nearly seven decades ago Emmett Till was killed because of a white woman's complaint and asks if so little progress has been made in well over half a century.

     The answer is yes.  And it's up to those of us who are white to work on making more progress in fighting this cruel reality. 

On a purrrsonal note, I was so deeply engaged in pondering on the questions The Cost of Knowing raises and writing this review that I almost missed the bus and was late to work.  Luckily I caught a glimpse of my clock and realized I had, oh crap crap CRAP, ten minutes to make it to the bus stop.  It lit a fire under me, I'll tell you.  It takes an excellent book to get me so caught up the real world vanishes.  And I did make that bus which is a damn good thing because I want to ask Anne if I can clock out early so I can make the right connections to get to Orono Public Library on time.  They've got six inter library loan books with my name on them, more if any come in today.  And the buses still don't run on weekends.  As long as I'm bringing my A game to work Anne will be working with me which I truly appreciate.  I'm glad it's Friday.  As much as I love my job I'm looking forward to two days off where I'm in dish room until we get more student workers.  I'm very grateful that nothing went south this week that could have.  When we had to evacuate I didn't get sent to Northern Light.  I got enough help that I could get this week's homework in on time.  Dr. Gillon says if my kidney sends me back to the hospital or I have to COVID quarantine we'll work something out. ( Jules)

Weekend!  More time with my people.  More belly rubs.  (Tobago)

A great big shout out goes out to you, our readers, with best wishes for a great weekend.

Tobago and Jules Hathaway 

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