The Way We Never Were

The Way We Never Were

Adult nonfiction
Trump built up the hopes of his base by promising to make
America great again. Implicit in his promise was a return to the
ethos of a more moral and prosperous era--presumably the 1950s. Dad
worked. Mom cooked, cleaned, and cared for the 2.5 children who said
yes ma'am and no sir, ate their vegetables, and had problems that
could be solved in a half hour by wise dad. Families went to church.
Schools opened the day with prayer.
Nostalgia has become quite popular. Today's complex and crisis
packed world, especially since the pandemic hit, has a lot of people
missing the kinder, gentler past popularized by shows like Leave It To
Beaver and Father Knows Best.
Stephanie Coontz knew how to call bullshit when she wrote The
Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia trap. In this
thoroughly researched volume she shatters myths that:
*the suburban families of the 1950s were glowingly happy;
*families other than the lazy poor were totally fiscally independent;
*women were fine with gendered divisions of labor until feminism
ruined everything;
and *teens were relatively chaste and produced fewer out of wedlock
babies.
She also debunks the illusion of Black poverty and precarity being due
to dysfinctional family lives rather than systemic racism.
In a 2016 New Republic article Coontz says that some forms of
nostalgia, such as children remembering the good but not the bad from
a summer vacation, are benign. "...But it's a serious problem when it
leads grown-ups to try to recreate a past that either never existed at
all or whose seemingly attractive features were inextricably linked to
injustices and restrictions on liberty that few Americans would
tolerate today."
As when we elect a real estate mogul to the highest office in
the nation to "make America great again"?
On a purrrsonal note, I hope you had a great weekend. I sure did.
Saturday morning Eugene and I went up to camp. The weather was
perfect. The scenery was sweet. It's that time of year when fruit
trees and bushes are beautifully blossoming. At camp I did a lot of
reading and some walking. A hummingbird checked Eugene and me out.
Eugene grilled burgers for supper. We played gin rummy. He won. He
always wins at camp. Before bed we watched a movie. After breakfast
we took a very meandering scenic route home. We saw a rabbit, 2
deers, a turkey, a bunch of geese, and an eagle. We found a yard
sale. I finally was able to find angel Christmas ornaments that
aren't all white skinned. We stopped at Goodwill. I bought a Harry
Potter shirt and one piece Christmas Moose pajamas. At Hannaford I
slipped yogurt and bananas (potassium) into the grocery cart. Eugene
tried out his new grill cooking hot dogs for supper. He must like it
because he went on to cook a steak we can have tonight. (Jules)
I missed my hoomans. But I knew they'd come home. They always do.
(Tobago)
A great big shout out goes out to Eugene. Also to Rev. Mariah who
just earned herself a PhD without pushing her cat off her work. You
go, Girl!
Tobago and Jules Hathaway



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