What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Blacker

Adult memoir
"...Only someone so comfortably ensconced in privilege that they
need to find ways to fabricate closeness to death to feel alive would
leave their bed and blankets and house and clothes and city and tens
of thousands of years of civilization devoted to finding more
efficient ways to protect us from the elements in the dead of winter
to belly flop into a billion gallons of toxic ice..."
In the introduction to his What Doesn't Kill You Makes You
Blacker: A Memoir In Essays Damon Young explains why the annual New
Years Day Polar Bear Plunge into the Monongahela is "some white-people
shit". As a black (I am using lower case because the author did), he
has never had to try anything like extreme sports because being black
in everyday situations (i.e., spotting a police car in the rear view
mirror) provides more than enough terror. There's a lot of anger on
the pages:
"How else are you supposed to react when first learning about
redlining; when first learning about lynching; when first having
gerrymandering and gentrification explained to you; when first
studying the myriad and colossal racial disparities in everything from
income to education..."
But there is also a celebration of the beauty that can exist in the
face of adversity and a lot of humor. The 16 essays that follow
include:
*Living While Black Killed My Mother: His mother died of lung cancer
after five years of suffering from symptoms that weren't taken
seriously enough. If she had been listened to better, had had better
tests, and had had the quality of medical care upper-middle-class
white women receive would the disease have been caught in time to
really make a difference? If she hadn't lived with extreme stress in
a community specifically targeted by cigarette manufacturers would she
have developed a decades long smoking addiction?;
*No Homo explores the complex intersectionality involving maleness,
blackness, and sexual orientation;
and *Three Niggas explains why, no matter how "down" a white may
believe himself to be, his unearned use of the word nigga is an act of
cultural violence.
The chapter that got to me the most was the one he wrote about
his beloved daughter, Zoe. He and his wife will do their best to
teach her about her racial heritage and equip her for a world that
will often be less than welcoming and affirming.
"She is still in danger. She is still thought to be a threat.
She will still have people see her and assume she's older and stronger
and tougher than she actually is...She will still have her
intelligence doubted, as if it's not possible to be that black and
also be that sharp. She will still have to watch racism and sexism
join forces and attempt to pathologize her..."
Everyone who rocks white privilege like I do and is work enough
to realize than racism is systems deep and pervasive enough to be
invisible to many really should read What Doesn't Kill You Makes You
Blacker.
On a purrrsonal note, it's exactly two months since Tobago chose me at
the Humane Society in Waterville and became Tobago Anna (after my
manager who brought us together and is her godmother) Hathaway. As I
write this, she's sun soaking contentedly on Adam's old bed. Her new
vet has declared her the picture of feline health. She seems very
happy, contented, and trusting. She engages eagerly with Eugene and
me and brings a lot of joy and playfulness into our home. She shows
very little interest in objects specifically marketed as cat toys.
She can amuse herself with just about anything else. She can bat a
plastic Gatorade bottle top up and down the length of the house. My
smaller stuffed animals show up in many strange places. She can talk
on my smart phone. When I clean she helps me by picking small objects
up and moving them to new places. The only challenge is nights. Due
to her nocturnal urges to play, I haven't had a good nights sleep
since I brought her home. But I went through that with three
infants. And I'm sure I'll be able to figure something out. After
all she brings so much joy to our family.
Great big shout outs go out to Tobago, Anna, the fine folks at
Waterville Humane Society, and the Veazie Vet crew for their
willingness to take on a new Hathaway critter.
jules hathaway





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